Let’s do away with gender boxes

I’m pretty sure you’ll agree that there’s no such thing as a man who is 100% male or a woman who is 100% female. We often hear about men searching for (and finding) their femininity, and women striving to become more assertive—a trait that is often seen as “masculine.”

After years and years of struggling with male/female issues myself, I’ve come to the conclusion that gender is not something that can be compartmentalized, no matter how we are physically “equipped.”

This is why gay marriage isn’t a problem for me. This is why I appreciate and love all the various expressions of the continuum of gender. This is why I not only love seeing what appears to be two women or two men in a loving relationship, but also a “male” and “female” couple where the man looks like a woman and the woman like a man, or vice-versa. I think androgyny is awesome.

Balance is a natural phenomenon, and it always manages to express itself, often transcending physical appearances. We can find this balance within ourselves, or we can appreciate it in our relationships with others. What we ought not to do is try to suppress whatever gender qualities are natural to us.

This is why, if a man feels that he is really a woman inside, he will naturally find a way to express that, according to his own situation and need. And the more freely he or she is able to manifest him/herself, the better. If a little girl feels more like a boy, so be it. We simply can’t be forced into boxes without causing damage.

In society I am a “straight” woman, but since I was a tiny girl, I’ve always been acutely aware of my boyness as well as my girlness. Fortunately I had parents who didn’t try to block this or force me to be more of a girly girl. I played with my dollies and my trucks, and then I found music, which has no gender.

Those qualities that we call “masculine” or “feminine” are everywhere for all of us to enjoy and develop. The bottom line is that they’re not confined to sex—they’re actually spiritual.