Category Archives: babies

How to know what kind of a person anyone is



Brazilian actress Fernanda Montenegro…look at those eyes!

This is a follow-up to yesterday’s post, which was focused on Donald Trump. Let’s leave poitics for a minute and think about a broader application—how to know what kind of a person anyone is. The method is the same: look into their eyes and you’ll see their soul.

You know how sometimes you meet a person and immediately you feel uncomfortable? You might say to yourself, “Oh, I’m just being silly.” But stop and take a good look right into their orbs and you’ll realize you can trust what you see. A person with a good, gentle soul will have a kind look, or a sparkle in their eyes, or even something that you can’t name, but you feel it. You feel it with someone who has a dark soul as well.

Unfortunately, many people never give this a thought. Nevertheless, sometimes they’ll say, “Ooooh, what beautiful eyes she/he has!” They might not necessarily make the connection between what they’re seeing in this person’s eyes and their character, but there definitely is a connection.


No thing but innocence in those eyes!

The same goes for that uncomfortable feeling when somebody seems to have a “nasty look.” Don’t brush it off. Sometimes it can save you from a lot of grief, if you were thinking of getting involved with that person in some way, whether business or personal. People who have that look in their eyes are out of touch with who they were meant to be and are blind to who they really are.

Trust your intuition! It’s the greatest thing you own, and you can cultivate it. Words, reasoning, conjectures, opinions are not nearly as powerful or accurate.

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Is breastfeeding “immodest?”

breastfeedingMy second grandson was born a few days ago and I have breastfeeding on my mind.

I nursed both of my daughters, and my younger daughter nursed her first, and now her second boy. If I were still of childbearing age, I couldn’t imagine doing it any other way, unless of course I wasn’t able to breastfeed for some reason.

A few weeks ago there was a long, impassioned discussion about breastfeeding and modesty on Facebook. It revolved around whether women should openly nurse their babies in public. It was the men and the hardcore Christian women who felt that it was “immodest,” while the other commenters were more lenient.

Having lived in other countries outside of the USA, my attitude toward breastfeeding in public is very lenient. I’m used to seeing women openly nursing their babies on buses, in parks, even in churches, without making any special effort to “cover up.”

Some of the people on the Facebook thread used expressions like “flaunting” and “whipping it out,” which I confess I found almost quaint. It got me thinking. What are breasts? What is their purpose? Obviously there were two camps on that FB thread: the ones who saw breasts as primarily a source of food for babies, and the ones who saw them primarily as sexual objects.

It seems peculiar to me that a woman should feel embarrassed to nurse her baby in public, when women’s breasts are on display in so many other places, from “girly” magazines to artistic photo shoots. Where do you draw the line between something being sexy, artistic, or utilitarian? It makes me wonder.african-woman-nursing1

I continue to believe that a woman has a perfect right to “whip it out” in public to feed her kid, and I don’t see anything wrong or immodest about it. I get the feeling that the people who object to it are either really hung up on the sexuality of breasts, or they’re taking the concept of “modesty” a bit too far.

In any event, it’s a cultural thing, as far as I can see. I live in Brazil and have lived in Mexico, and I have never seen even the most devout Catholic women the slightest bit concerned about whether nursing their babies in public was “modest” or not.

When my first daughter was born in the early 60s, breastfeeding was looked down upon by the general population. While I was under sedation in the hospital, I was given a drug to dry up my milk, because the doctors just assumed that I would be bottle-feeding my baby. When I found out, I was furious! I sent my husband to the drug store to get me a breast pump, and I pulled the sheet up over my head while I pumped and pumped until my milk came back. I was in a ward with a bunch of other women, and had to pull a curtain around my bed when I fed my baby, to hide their icy stares, but also because the nurses insisted that I not nurse my baby in the open.

By the time I had my second baby, ten years later, things had loosened up a bit, although nursing in public was still pretty much a no-no. I didn’t care. I persisted, and nursed her in public as discreetly as I could. No one was going to convince me that dealing with heating up formula, having to wash or even sterilize bottles, worrying about whether the milk might be too hot or spoiled, and then sticking the bottle in the baby’s mouth was better than a nice, warm breast that always delivered perfect milk at any time of the day or night, at exactly the right temperature.

I know some women are naturally modest. That’s fine—just through a little blanket over your shoulder. But for those who aren’t that concerned about modesty, nursing your baby in public should be at least as natural as wearing your bikini to the beach. So relax, girls, and don’t be afraid to “whip it out!”


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