Blessed relief

This is a follow-up to my previous post, so if you haven’t read that one yet, here it is:

https://finallygettingdowntobrasstacks.wordpress.com/2014/09/08/where-do-i-belong/

O poeta e o mendigoI was so grateful for all the replies, both here and on Facebook, about my dilemma of whether or not I should return to the USA. Funny how things can turn around in one’s mind in a matter of days…or even hours.

I’m not usually the sort to seek out other people’s advice about decisions…I guess you could say I’m more of a pray-er. I listen for inner inspiration and guidance, as a general rule. But who’s to say that intuition can’t come through someone or something else? A casual word from a friend, a passage in a book, a remark overheard in the street, even the flight of a bird can suddenly spark something within, and then there’s no more doubt.

I’m especially grateful to two friends: Merrilee Trost and David Brown, who nudged my thinking into new directions, and wittingly or not, helped me make my decision.

Dave saw my previous blog, and simply said: “You should stay in Rio.” He pointed out that he sensed no real desire in me to move to St. Petersburg.

Merrilee also felt strongly that I should stay here. She commented on my blog: “I’ve thought many times about moving from the San Francisco Bay Area to some place where my money would go further. And then…the same thing…I see a commercial on TV with the Golden Gate Bridge…and I think…how would I feel in Kansas or Missouri looking at that commercial? And that settles it, I would shrivel up and die.”

That really hit me in the gut. I remembered when I spent a year in the states in 2007 and every time I’d see or hear anything even faintly Brazilian, I’d be absolutely overcome with that feeling that we describe here as “saudades.” It’s more than missing, more than nostalgia—it’s a tugging of the heart that’s often too profound to describe. Redentor lua

The first thing that hit me after reading and digesting all the comments was that fear of not having enough money was just a bad reason for leaving Rio…prices could go down, and there are always ways of earning more money. It was as if I were waking up…I remembered when I used to spend a month in the USA every year, and I thought…why, I could do that again! That would resolve any cravings I might have for things American, such as quality international foods, seeing old friends and family, and so on. Why had I forgotten that? I don’t know. I simply got caught up in the thought “I have to leave.”

To tell the truth, “leaving,” or “running away” is an old, bad habit of mine, and I saw that this situation was an opportunity to stop doing that (anyone who has read my book knows about my habit of fleeing to “solve” things). Whatever needs to be worked out I can do right where I am.

So now I don’t have to tuck Rio in my heart and take it with me. I have no idea what will happen in the future, but for now I’ve decided to stay in my beloved Rio de Janeiro.

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12 Comments

Filed under expats, Rio de Janeiro, Uncategorized

12 responses to “Blessed relief

  1. TA DA! The right solution always presents itself, doesn’t it? Happy day.

  2. Libby

    So glad you found an answer–when I have major decisions I think and pray about it for a week or two–God will out!!

  3. Hi

    always best to trust how your heart feels. The head isn’t the best guide. Money, stuff like that. I’m from toronto canada but when i lived for 2 years on the West Coast in San Francisco I knew I somehow I felt ‘home’ .At home. So i was offered a job to stay there ,but i felt strongly the needs of my community in Toronto- so I went there for several years. Then i lost my job. Then an opportunity opened up in Western Canada, and I knew it felt more like home than my home so I went. It’s been 3 years. No regrets. It just gets better all the time too. Love to you, and keep jazzin’

    dean

    On Sat, Sep 20, 2014 at 11:44 AM, finallygettingdowntobrasstacks wrote:

    > Amy Duncan posted: “This is a follow-up to my previous post, so if you > haven’t read that one yet, here it is: > https://finallygettingdowntobrasstacks.wordpress.com/2014/09/08/where-do-i-belong/ > I was so grateful for all the replies, both here and on Facebook, about my > di”

  4. Amen! So glad you have found that blessed peace and that you are staying where you are with (and because of) Love and not with fear. That’s always a winner! Thanks for the post!

  5. I’m home. At last. Wow, just writing those four words makes me realize I need to write them on MY blog, which I have sadly neglected, because I didn’t want to explain myself the way you have so beautifully. Thanks for sharing, Amy. Just a week or so three or four times a year suffices for me to get things “American,” those things that are generally readily available any where in Mexico, if you’re willing to pay twice the price. OK, contact lens solution costs about $12/bottle here, and I can get three for$10 in the States. Still cheaper than a trip north. Shoot, they’ve even opened a Crate and Barrel and a Chico’s forty-five minutes away. But all that aside, we just KNOW, don’t we?

    • Yes, Susan, we do know!
      And you’re right about the American stuff…it’s really not such a big deal. I can order things from Amazon, too. There are always “ways”…. 🙂

  6. That was a great look into your world, Amy. I’m a big believer in the answer sometimes coming to you from a friend; it even could be a chance remark from a passing stranger.

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