What’s my motive?

The other day I got caught up in a delusion of grandeur, and believe me it was just as awful as seeing myself as a worthless loser. I imagined myself in a certain role, way above others, and raising them up and enlightening them with my wonderful insights and perceptions. Ha! What a joke! It only took me about a minute to wake up to see how twisted that was. I knew better, because I know that any ideas that have really elevated mankind never came from arrogance and self-righteousness, but from humility and love.

Who am I, anyway? —I thought. What, for that fleeting moment, made me feel that I was so special, so much better than anyone else? Well, I like to think of those thoughts as “nowhere” and “nobody” thoughts, because they certainly didn’t come from the Creator.

I’m a firm believer in the Creator. I know in my gut that we didn’t just spring out of nowhere into existence. There’s no doubt that we exist. We are here. We are conscious of ourselves, so Something or Someone must have created or manifested us, outpictured us. And like snowflakes, there are no two of us alike. I love to think of that—countless snowflakes dancing and swirling, each one doing its own thing in its own unique way.

But you know, there isn’t a single snowflake that’s better than any other snowflake, or more worthy, more interesting, more special. You get the picture. Each one is different, like us, with its own role to play, its own style, and even though some snowflakes might be BIGGER than others, they’re still from the same source. They’re made to enjoy themselves, hang out together, and do the dance of life—just like us.

If I’m full of myself—my attitudes, opinions, and so on—how will I ever be able to see-hear-appreciate what anyone else is doing? It just kind of draws a veil over all the brightness that everyone else is expressing, and I end up missing out.

So let’s imagine that I really do get some great, mind-bending, life-altering idea that I think I should present to other people. Well, first of all, I need to check my motives. Am I honestly doing this to help others, or just to show them how amazing I am and make them like me or worship me? Will it really have the effect I think it will, or will it end up hurting people and making me look like a jerk? This is the time to make sure that my idea came from the Creator, aka in this case, my spiritual intuition. If it did, then, like a snowflake dance, it’ll create harmony and joy, instead of bumping into the other flakes and dragging all of us to the ground.

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14 Comments

Filed under individuality, spiritual

14 responses to “What’s my motive?

  1. Right on, Amy! Or will that puff you up too much if I praise your insights? 😉

  2. I don’t know, Laura…it might be risky! lolol

  3. Wow, Amy. So well stated. Thanks.

  4. I LOVE this one!!! It’s so funny… I was dealing with the same kind of challenge last night… and, of course, I ended up laughing at myself – laughter always helps me put things in perspective. 🙂

  5. This is incredibly well-written beautiful Amy!

    Great big hugs,
    Mariaaaaaaaaaaaa
    🙂

  6. Reblogged this on Recovery Blog with NSG and commented:
    I love how this relates to recovery and the crazy thinking that we all struggle with – the delusions of grandeur. I hope you enjoy this blog written by Amy Duncan. Thank you Amy!

  7. Thanks Amy. Such a clear view of the danger of thinking too much of self and of self importance. Good stuff!!!

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