But . . . what about them?

A couple of days ago, a Brazilian Facebook friend wrote this response to my blog post, “Fear not” — https://finallygettingdowntobrasstacks.wordpress.com/2012/06/13/fear-not/

“Happiness, I think, is one of our deepest fears as well… what shall we do if our soul feels complete and the other people’s around us does not? what shall we do with our guilt for being happy if most of people doesn’t allow themselves of trying it even for a bit? . . . let it be, let them be, let us be light, enlightened, blameless, fearless, shiny . . . Once, on a TV programme, Joseph Campbell, the author of “The Power of the Myth” and other wonderful books advised the viewers to “follow your bliss”. . . I never forgot that phrase, it kept echoing in my mind, it still does . . . ”

So yes, what about that? What if we’re happy and fulfilled and the people around us aren’t? That’s a tough one, especially when those people are really close to us, such as family members.

After decades of trying to make other people happy, I discovered the answer: It’s impossible. That’s right, impossible. You can do something with someone and enjoy your day with them and they’ll feel happy, but fundamentally you can’t make someone into a happy person. That’s their job. No matter how hard you try, you really can’t change anyone, and you’ll often end up not only wearing yourself out, but making yourself unhappy, too.

I agree with Joseph Campbell. We have to follow our bliss, do what makes US happy. And this, contrary to the opinions of some, is NOT selfishness. It’s really following the divine plan that has been individually crafted for you. But when I say happy, I don’t mean just a temporary feel-good solution. If you want that, you can go smoke some weed. I’m talking about a genuine, deep-seated happiness that comes from knowing who you are and doing what you know you were meant to do.

I agree with my Facebook friend: let’s be light, enlightened, blameless, fearless . . . and best of all, “shiny!”

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4 Comments

Filed under individuality, spiritual

4 responses to “But . . . what about them?

  1. Rhonda

    “And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” — Marianne Williamson

  2. Happiness is doubled when it’s shared. You are right, though, in that we can’t make others happy, nor are we responsible for their happiness. I’ll never forget the time when my daughter was in first grade and was reaching out to another little girl in friendship. The other girl’s almost-angry-like response was, “Why are you always so happy?” From then on my daughter knew to find other friends who could appreciate her joy.

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