I heart Facebook, part 2

Picking up from yesterday…

The other thing I love about Facebook is that it allows me the opportunity to act the way I try to act in “real” life, but sometimes fail, that is: THINK before I SPEAK (or in this case, WRITE).

You see someone’s post, for example, and it pushes your buttons for one reason or another. If the person were standing right in front of you, you might be more inclined to react quickly and maybe say something you wish you hadn’t. But on Facebook, even though you certainly have the option to be impulsive and say something carelessly, there’s that wonderful “I don’t have to answer this right now” element. You can think it over, ponder what you really want to say, and then say it when you’ve cooled down. Or, you might opt not to respond at all.

How do you handle it when someone pushes your buttons on Facebook?

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12 Comments

Filed under social media, Uncategorized

12 responses to “I heart Facebook, part 2

  1. It depends on the person, the discussion and the “real estate” the discussion is on. If someone says something that’s mean-spirited or too harsh on my wall, I delete it. If it’s on someone’s else’s wall,I try to be more diplomatic. I don’t need to have the last word or prove I’m right, etc. The thing about pushing buttons in writing is that it’s SOOOO hard to read the tone or intent behind the words.
    I really try to keep things light-hearted and not too serious.

    • Good point about whether the comment is on your wall or someone else’s. I have deleted a few nasty comments, but I’m happy to say they’ve been very few. I don’t seem to have too much trouble picking up on tone and intent, though, although I can’t say I’m 100% with that…yes, it’s good to keep things light-hearted whenever possible!

  2. Thomas Moore

    Amy, I wholeheartedly agree that writing a reply affords an opportunity to be more discrete. However, I would not consider that a unique aspect to FB – and I work hard at trying to measure my responses in real time, in person, in my normal verbal responses. I think I handle button-pushing the same on and off FB. Sometimes I hit back and sometimes I let it go. It depends on the subject and the person, not really the medium. I don’t believe that technology changes what and who we are. I believe how we use it reflects what and who we are.

    • I agree that we should try to measure our responses in person as well, but for me FB is like a laboratory where I can refine my behavior in that sense, and then it makes it easier in person. My experience is that technology has changed me, though…I feel that my interactions on FB have actually helped to make me a better person. Of course it’s also true that how we use it shows something about us.

  3. awriterweavesatale

    Unfortunately I can write as vast as I think. Impulsively.

  4. But you don’t have to unless you want to!

  5. Kay

    Hi Amy: I love facebook, too, because of the many friends I have with similar interests. But I also love that there are friends who wake me up to inspiring new thoughts. There are also the friends who have deeply held beliefs and values that make me love their tenacity. Recently, though, I had someone really take me to task about my profile pic and some of my posts (I haven’t figured out which ones yet). It was absolutely bizzare to me and hateful. This individual was trying to disguise the outburst as “caring”. It certainly didn’t come across that way! So, thank goodness we can sign off on folks who are judging us, just like in “real life”. We don’t have to take unwarranted and unkind criticism, especially under the guise of love. I send some light and love toward this friend, but I’m out from underneath her microscope.

  6. I recently had a similar encounter with someone who was trying to manipulate me. I think it’s easier to stop these things on FB than it is in “real life!” 🙂

  7. I’ve deleted comments that are really negative. I just don’t want that kind of spew on my wall. Go rain on someone else’s parade – but not on mine. I was sorry to read how Kay received criticism on her posts & pics! Really? Why do people feel they have to go there? I wouldn’t even get into a discussion with them about it. I’d find my friendly “unfriend” button and, click! There! They won’t be offended by your posts any longer. 🙂

  8. I delete negative/offensive posts, too, and have unfriended a few people, but for the most part, I don’t get much of that kind of thing.

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