When I was a little kid in school back in the middle 40s, I can remember being rewarded for doing good work. I loved it when the teacher stuck a gold star on my paper or workbook, and it made me want to do even better.
I also remember that we had reading groups, and they were divided according to ability. If you were in a lower group and your reading improved, you’d get moved to a higher one.
But over the years I started to notice a change in this merit-for-excellence system. Teachers started giving poor performers more attention, and even rewards, so they wouldn’t feel bad about themselves. I thought, why should an under-achiever get a reward? It didn’t make sense to me. Encouraging and helping someone do better is one thing, but I came to believe over the years that stroking the underdog doesn’t help anyone.
I remember a situation many years later when I started to attend the workshops of a well-known jazz pianist in New York. He would sit at a grand piano in a big loft and young musicians — mostly pianists — would crowd around him at tables, waiting eagerly for their chance to perform. After each one finished, he would critique them in front of the audience.
After I’d gone a few times I started to notice a pattern. He would be kind and complimentary to the mediocre ones and critical, sometimes verging on harsh and cruel, to the really talented, accomplished ones. I questioned some of the musicians about it, and they said he did this to encourage the not-so-good ones and to make sure the really good ones wouldn’t get a swelled head and would work harder.
I just don’t get that. Not that I think he should have trashed the struggling ones, but there was certainly no reason to be so hard on the ones who obviously had talent and had worked hard to develop it. I stopped going to the workshop. It all just felt too personal. Some people became his “pets” (usually the not-so-good ones) and that really bothered me.
So today when I see, for example, a group of children competing in some kind of game, and when it’s done the teacher or adult in charge gives all the kids a prize so no one’s feelings will be hurt, I really think that’s a mistake. It gives kids the idea that they don’t have to work hard to get a reward, and breeds complacency and mediocrity.
Kids who are having a hard time need a helping hand to get better, maybe to change their habits so they can develop their abilities and talents. I say this because I don’t really believe there’s any such thing as a “dumb” kid, or one that has no special abilities and talents. But the way to discover these abilities is to help the kid learn how to bring them out, not by stroking him or her when they’re not even trying. By doing this, underdogs will always be underdogs, because they’ve learned that it’s rewarding.
What do you think?
Thanks, everyone!
Feeling grateful today for everyone who has liked, commented on or decided to follow my blog. It actual fills me with wonder to think that there are people around the globe who read what I’ve written.
Since I’m pretty busy most of the time and more people seem to be reading my blog, I want to apologize in advance if I don’t get to your blog and acknowledge it after you’ve read min. So far I’ve been able to check out the blogs of every person who has shown an interest in mine, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to get to every one in the future. If that happens, it certainly won’t be for lack of interest. I’ve found some really wonderful things and have often wished I had all day just to sit and read them.
But as you know, if you’ve been reading me regularly, I’m finishing up my autobiography, as well as making a major life transition with my work in general. This takes up a lot of my time. So another request I’d like to make is not to be chosen for any awards. I did get picked for one, and was duly flattered, but after a good fifteen minutes of trying to figure out how to reply to it and everything else I was supposed to do after winning it, I finally gave up!
Anyway, to show my appreciation for all of you, here’s a little music from my band, Brass Tacks:
http://soundcloud.com/jazzrascal/01-passarinho-do-mato
http://soundcloud.com/jazzrascal/02-fadood
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